sleep
The other day a high school student asked me, “Why are you doing this? Is it so that you can sleep better at night?”
My first reaction was one of offense. I thought, “Being a nomad and working for LiNK doesn’t make me sleep any better! I’m heart broken over the lives of North Koreans and I lie awake being disturbed by the very thought of the injustice being inflicted upon them!” but that’s a lie. I have been sleeping very well on floors, air mattresses, couches, and any bed.
Then I was freaked out. Why do I sleep so well? Shouldn’t I be found staring at the ceiling every night at 3 am thinking about refugees and starving children? Why don’t I? I realized I sleep so well because at the end of the day, I’m exhausted in the best way. Brenda, my regional manager at LiNK told me that if you come back from tour and you’re not exhausted, you probably could have given more on the road, you didn’t give your all. I would hope I sleep well because in the hours I’m awake the Lord is sanctifying me to pour myself out fully for the cause of His people.
Last Sunday, I met a man named Chuck at Quest Church in Seattle. After talking to him about the homeless ministry he was part of he said, “It’s funny. The more you pour out the faster you’re filled up.”
Sleep can’t be what fully sustains me. At the end of the day, at the end of my life, I hope I will be able to fall asleep anywhere because I have lived my life being poured out.
For I am already being poured out as a drink offering, and the time of my departure has come. I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith.
2 Timothy 4:6-7
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